Social media: What parents should know

Sharing information and images via social media (such as Snapchat, Instagram or TikTok) is part of daily life for many children and teens. Social media allow kids to communicate with one another, and to document what they are doing in real time.

Children and youth can share personal information far beyond what was possible even a few years ago. And they can connect with people they have never met in real life.

Social media can have both positive (staying connected with friends) and negative (lowered self-esteem, making social comparisons) effects on kids’ mental and emotional health. For more information, read the Canadian Paediatric Society’s position statement, Digital media: Promoting healthy screen use in school-aged children and adolescents.

Because social media platforms change frequently, it’s important for parents to learn about the apps children are using to help keep them safe online.

How do kids use social media?

Children and youth use social media in many different ways:

• Connecting with others.
• Messaging and chatting.
• Vlogs (video blogs), in which people often share a lot of detail about their daily lives, experiences, and surroundings.
• Photo and video sharing.
• Joining groups. For youthwith disabilities or chronic conditions, peer support groups can provide a safe place to meet others with shared experiences, and can help reduce social isolation.
• Gaming/gambling: Some gaming apps include online gambling, and many feature product promotion or advertising.
• Online dating: Although most dating sites/apps are for people over 18 years old, many do not require proof of age. Users can be manipulated by others to share personal information and inappropriate photos.

Is social media harmful?

Social media apps are designed to keep people online as long as possible. Constantly checking for “likes”, followers and messages can lead to unhealthy behaviours and mood changes. Being able to see what friends are doing in real time—especially if your child has been excluded —can affect self-esteem. Other risks of social media include cyberbullying and sexual exploitation.

Here are some things parents can do to minimize the risks:

• Learn about the apps your child is using. While some social media platforms have age requirements to join, children may get around these.
• Show interest and ask questions about your child’s online experiences. Make sure they understand that it’s not a good idea for adults to communicate with children and teens online.
• Try to keep tablets and computers in common areas where you can monitor your child’s use. Keep devices out of private spaces like bedrooms.
• Get online family protection. Programs that provide parental controls can block websites and enforce time limits. Talk to your kids about ways to keep from seeing things they don’t want to see, like setting filters on search engines (your child is probably more interested in avoiding inappropriate content than finding it).
• Be open with your children if you are following their online accounts or monitoring their online activity to help keep them safe. Because some children or teens may create a fake second account for their parents to follow, ongoing conversation is essential.
• Discuss what’s okay and safe to post online, and what isn’t. Talk about how privacy settings or other tools can control who sees what they post, and what they might do if the wrong people see their content.
• Find the app’s “safety centre” or “parent centre” and go through it with your kids (if you can’t find it within the app, do a Google search with the app’s name and the words “safety centre” or “parent centre”). These features have information about limiting what people can see and how they interact with you, as well as what to do if things go wrong.
• There is a strong relationship between having rules in the home and how kids behave online. Talk with your kids about: what information they post/share and how they “talk” online; how/whether to comment on others’ posts; speaking up when something feels wrong or uncomfortable.
• Make sure your kids know that they should come to you if anything ever goes wrong or upsets them online. Tell them that your top priority will be working with them to fix whatever’s gone wrong.
• Remind your children that what they see on social media doesn’t always reflect reality, and help them find joy in offline activities. If you see your children getting anxious about being off their phone for a while, talk about how they are feeling.
• Set a good example by following the rules you set for online behaviour. Ask them before you share anything about them

What should I know about online privacy?

Most social media apps and websites have privacy policies and settings, but they are all different.

Start by getting familiar with the apps themselves:

• Read an app or website’s privacy policy before sharing any personal information. Check this website for plain language summaries of popular apps’ policies.
• Check your child’s privacy settings and profiles to make sure they aren't sharing identifying information such as their birthdate or location.
• Most apps require users to set up a profile, which can include name, e-mail address, birthdate, phone number, interests, and a photo. Depending on a user’s privacy settings, some profiles are visible to the public, while others can only be seen by friends or followers. Whenever possible, encourage your child to use an online nickname, instead of a real name.
• If your child uses a GPS-enabled smartphone or tablet, they could be posting status updates, photos and videos with “geotags”. Geotags share the exact location of where a photo was taken. Turn off these features.
• If your child uses an iPhone or an iPad, you can keep apps from tracking them by tapping Ask App Not to Track when you download it. For apps you’ve already downloaded, go to Settings → Privacy & Security → Tracking, and slide Allow Apps to Request to Track to off. For Android phones or tablets, download the DuckDuckGo app, go to Settings → App Tracking Protection and slide to on.

Teach your child how to protect their privacy by advising them to:

• Never accept friend requests from people they don’t know in real life.
• Keep every account password protected, and change passwords often. Do not share passwords, even with friends.
• Remember that no matter what the app says, posts are not temporary. People can take screenshots of a photo before it disappears.
• Protect and respect their friends’ privacy by asking permission before posting a photo or video of another person.
• Know what their friends are posting about them.